President’s Remarks – Adrian Ford
Welcome to this October meeting; it is good to see you all.
We have been reviewing our membership numbers and would like to have five or six new members. If you know anyone you think might be suitable to join us, please inform Michael Nield or myself. Tony Brown, who was considering becoming a member has, unfortunately, decided not to, because of other commitments.
There are three members with health issues about which I wish to update you:
I have spoken to Bob Kay who now has his prosthetic leg which is giving him some discomfort at the moment. This makes it unlikely that he will be with us today. John Vardon is recovering from a right hip replacement and Terry Dale is awaiting test results. We wish all of them a speedy recovery.
I would like to remind members of our Social Evening on Wednesday 16th November which will be at the Cricket Club starting at 7.30pm. Please support this occasion if you possibly can.
Christmas is rapidly approaching and we need volunteers to help with the reindeer collections outside ‘Home Bargains’ on the 17thDecember. If you can help, please give your name to Graham Tunnicliff who is co-ordinating this year’s collection and support this worthy cause.
Sunday the 13th November is Remembrance Day. Any members who wish to march should meet at the Town Hall at approximately 10am. Those meeting at The Remembrance Garden should be there at 10.45am.
The speaker for the October meeting is Mr Graham Binningsley. His talk is entitled ‘A Life on the Ocean Waves’.
October Walk Report :- There was no October walk, due to holidays.
For November’s walk we journey to the remote south west of our borough. It is not an area I know well so I have enlisted the services of Pete Wells a Staffordshire County Council Ranger (retired) to lead the walk.
The walk starts from the village of Broughton on the B5026 between Loggerheads and Eccleshall and will be 5 to 6 miles long.
Afterwards I suggest we have lunch at the Star Inn at Offley near Eccleshall.
Please meet at 9:30 on the tiered car parks in Kidsgrove on Wednesday 2nd November
Subject:- Ageing Gracefully
1. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now!
2. I didn’t make it to the gym today. That makes it five years in a row.
3. I decided to change calling the toilet “the John” and renamed it the Jim. I feel so much better by saying I went to “the Jim” this morning.
4. Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet…
5. I don’t need anger management. I need people to stop irritating me.
6. When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a punishment… Now, as an old Fart, it just feels like a short holiday….
7. My people skills are just fine. It’s my tolerance of idiots that needs working on.
8. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would’ve put them on my knees.
9. The children text me “plz” which is short for please. I text back “no” which is shorter than “yes.”
10. I’m going to retire and live off my savings. I’m not sure what I’ll do the second week.
11. Even duct tape can’t fix stupid… but it can muffle the sound!
12. Why do I have to press “1” for English when I’m going to be transferred to someone I can’t understand anyway?
13. Of course I talk to myself sometimes, I need expert advice.
14. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
15. Confucius reminds us to ensure our brains are in gear before operating our mouths.
Submitted by John Crutchley. Thank you John.
Birthdays during November 2016:- Peter Lowe and Barry Rogerson.
Probus Indoor Bowls Schedule at Biddulph Sports Centre 2016/17
Tuesday 8th November, Tuesday 13th December, Tuesday 10th January, Tuesday 14th February, Tuesday 14th March.
All the matches start at 11am. and finish at 1pm.
Other Probus Events To End Of Year
|Wednesday||26 Oct 2016||Probus Ordinary Meeting at the Cricket Club. Meet 9.30am for 10.00am start.|
|Wednesday||9 Nov 2016||Visit to Robert’s Bakery at Northwich|
|Wednesday||16 Nov 2016||Social Evening at the Cricket Club at 7.30pm. Everyone welcome.|
|Wednesday||23 Nov 2016||Probus Council Meeting at the Cricket Club. Meet at 9.30am|
|Wednesday||23 Nov 2016||Second visit to Robert’s Bakery at Northwich|
|Wednesday||30 Nov 2016||Probus Ordinary Meeting at the Cricket Club. Meet 9.30am for 10.00am start.|
|Tuesday||6 Dec 2016||Christmas Lunch at The Manor House in Alsager11.45 for 12.30pm.|
The Amateur Philosopher
Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is in flower.
Chris Brough compiles and publishes the Probus Newsletter.
Any articles of interest to members should be sent by Email to Chris at email@example.com or phone 01782 784075 in the first instance.
For any inclusion in the current newsletter articles should be delivered to the editor at least 10 days before the monthly meeting